Not mine to give away
by MissLoonyxXx
Summary: Remus realises something and Sirius doesn't know why his friend keeps rejecting the guys who ask him out. SLASH! SBRL just a small fluffy oneshot


**Summary: Sirius is puzzled when Remus turns down all the guys who ask him out.**

**Warnings: excess of fluff and slashiness**

**Disclaimer: If I owned the puppies there would've been ten whole pages of them snogging at the ending of the third book!!**

**Not mine to give away**

When they were in fourth year, Remus sat them down and told them he was gay. Just like that. It was obvious that he hadn't been hiding it from them, but had only just found out himself.

James nodded a few hundred times before he hugged him, smiling proudly at him. Peter, being a half-blood and not knowing that homosexuality was severely frowned upon the wizarding society was slightly confused and wondered why he had made such a fuss about telling them, but gave him the thumbs up to signal he was perfectly fine with it as well. Sirius stared open mouthed at him until Remus began to squirm uncomfortably and James slapped him out of his trance. Realising that the quiet boy was still waiting for an answer, he smiled, but couldn't resist to ask how on earth could someone NOT like girls?! With their soft, silky hair; their sensuous curves, full rosy lips, sly and flirty stares and long lashes, and those unbelievably sexy voices. Remus had merely smiled and shaken his head at him.

Needless to say Sirius was not satisfied with his answer, so he kept a close tab on his friend whenever he got asked out because the tawny haired marauder had yet to show interest in anyone. It was not due to a lack of offers, oh no, he received plenty of those ever since James discretely got the word out that the shy marauder was gay. It was his friend's response to each and every guy who approached him what disconcerted him.

When Remus had said he was gay he expected to see his friend snogging random blokes all over the castle by the next day, because following Sirius' philosophy of life, at least when it came to the matter of skirts (or in Remus' case trousers) when the hormones kicked in you had to pick a side: Boys or girls. Once you picked your side you had to find people attractive enough to spend some time with. Maybe go out on a date here and there, snog a few people while you pretend that the broom closet door is locked and your date doesn't even attempt to open it.

Instead, _this_ happened when you tried to shag Remus Lupin(we all know that is the final goal, no matter how many nice words you put in between the means and the end)

It was the fifth guy since the beginning of their sixth year (the girls had finally got the point after two years of lack of response)

"So, umm, Remus, I was kind of wondering if you, er...wantedtogotoHogsmeadewithmethisweekend?" the...Ravenclaw? Yes, Ravenclaw boy asked.

Remus glanced briefly at Sirius and sighed. "I'm very sorry Brandon, but I'm afraid I can't go out with you."

The boy named Brandon ran a hand through his hair and turned desperate eyes at Remus again. "But why Remus? Why won't you let yourself love anyone? Are you so afraid to give your heart to someone and get hurt?"

Oh this was going to be bad. After his little statement Sirius was more than ready to crush the guy's skull into the wall but Remus' eyes danced in amusement as he responded. "I can't give you my heart because it doesn't belong to me," he said this and rolled his eyes as if it had been obvious.

"Wh-What?!" sputtered Brandon.

"I'm just keeping it safe for him so that when he realises that it's always been his, he finds it perfect. So there you go, I can't give you my heart because it's not mine to give away."

Sirius took a moment to get himself lost in the utter bliss in Remus' eyes as he spoke those words, the happiness seemed to transfer itself from there to his own body. He seemed really confident that this other guy was going to love him eventually. The Brandon bloke looked nonplused.

"Oh - I, er" he cleared his throat "gotta go, bye Remus, Sirius."

Remus grinned widely at him as he walked back to the dorms, and that was the end of it.

0o0o0o0o0o0o

A few days later, Sirius found himself walking beside his friend Remus again, acting almost as his bodyguard.

Why on earth would Remus Lupin need a bodyguard? you may be asking. I'll tell you why:

It all started the Brandon day. Suddenly all the guys who ever considered playing for the other team had been pestering Remus with questions like 'Am _I_ The One, Remus?' or 'Lupin, we both know your heart belongs to me so, how about we find ourselves a nice empty classroom to snog in, huh?'

Sirius fumed with every question and had to take deep breaths more than a few times before he snapped and hit one of those bastards. He honestly didn't know why it bothered him so much. He wanted his friend to be happy, so why did he feel this way?

Remus, being the lovely gentleman as always, laughed at the blatant lines and swatted the boys off like annoying flies.

For a minute, Sirius even forgot to be angry as he listened to Remus laugh. It was always nice to listen at his laughter, even the light little chuckles. The sound floated around, circled his brain making him dizzy and had an odd harmony and melody about it, one that Sirius loved. _Such a pretty sound, such a pretty pretty pretty..._

"Sirius?"

"Huh?"

"Are you all right there Siri?" asked Remus sounding amused.

"Wha- Yeah, I'm fine." stammered Sirius

"Good. Lets go then."

As they walked Sirius noticed Remus' eyelashes looked incredibly long and thick (beautiful, he thought, as they framed those ever amused amber eyes. but he kept that thought to himself). He wondered if the werewolf ever found them too heavy when he blinked.

0o0o0o0o0o0o

It was unbelievable, how persistent some of these blokes were.

"Please Remus, _please_ if it's not me, then tell me who he is!"

Remus shook his head and grinned lopsidedly at him. "Nope, not telling."

"What if he dies? Will you go out with me then?" the persistent little bugger asked.

Remus laughed and rolled his eyes. "No, I'll die with him, obviously!"

The bugger... Landon, was it? (it was hard to keep track these days) blinked a few times, which allowed them to walk past him and into the common room., laughing as they went.

"Jesus fuck Remus, you almost gave the poor guy a stroke!" he said between gasps as he sprawled himself on the floor, stretching on the hearthrug.

Remus stopped laughing suddenly as he sat down on the couch. "I meant it." he said before propping his feet up at the back of the couch and his head dangled close to the floor, his blood rushing to his face from the position.

Sirius sat up so quickly he got a little dizzy. _I meant it_. Well fuck, Remus really loved this guy. He didn't think he would die for someone out of _love_, out of _grief_. He couldn't imagine ever loving a person enough. But his heart disagreed with his mind as he looked at the red face of Remus. The small smile playing on his lips, the soft, pale skin of his cheekbones.

He reached out a hesitant hand and ran it through the tawny and slightly graying hair of his mate only to find it surprisingly soft. Without even thinking about it he leaned closer and nuzzled into it, reveling in its sweet smell. "Gods moony what shampoo do you use?"

He felt, more than saw Remus laughing. "The same shampoo you use padfoot."

Sirius frowned and took a strand of his own hair between his fingers, sniffing deeply. "Well yours smell better."

"Sure it does pads, sure it does."

0o0o0o0o0o0o

Sirius had to admit he was also a tinsy weensy bit curious about Remus' love.

"_Please_ moony tell me!" he whined pathetically.

"Nope."

Ok, VERY curious. He transformed into padfoot and placed himself in Remus' lap, gazing pitifully at him.

Remus closed his eyes.

"Re-he-mus why won't you tell me who he is?" he asked pouting.

"Because, Sirius, if you can't figure it out for yourself it means you're not ready to know yet."

Sirius ducked his head and flushed. He had no idea what he was feeling or why he was feeling it but suddenly his heart wanted to crawl out of his chest or come out of his throat, instead it leaked out of his eyes in the form of crystalline tears. He felt a hand lift his chin and wipe the lonely tears away.

"It's ok Siri, we can't all figure it out at the same time. It would be no fun like that" said Remus, winking at him.

Sirius nodded and as he moved it came to him that he was still sitting in his best friend's lap. He opened his mouth to say something, but decided against it, snuggling deeper into Remus' chest.

0o0o0o0o0o

They were having breakfast when it happened.

It was the most stupid, inappropriate moment in the world, but then again Sirius was known for being weird in every aspect of his life.

He was sitting across from James, Remus to his right, Peter in front of Remus, who was talking animatedly with a girl maybe a year below them and suddenly it all clicked.

All those little feelings that had been revolving around him ever since the beginning of the year now made sense and it almost made him drop his pumpkin juice from the force of it. He felt as if the world was in slow motion. He wanted to dissolve in tiny particles and become air to be breathed in by Remus; he wanted to be food only to be grazed by those full lips and clever tongue; he wanted to be the fucking silverware to be touched by Remus' slender, and slightly calloused fingers. He wanted to scream and cry and laugh at the same time.

When the world came back into focus and normal speed he had a slightly different problem. Why was Remus still talking to that girl?! Deciding to fix this inconvenience he grabbed the back of Remus' neck and crushed their lips together. The other boy joined him in a heartbeat with a smile on his lips and he must have done something right in his past lives because he was getting his reward now. As their tongues touched he laughed because Remus couldn't have eaten his shampoo, so it was just something about him that smelled, tasted, looked delicious.

"It's me." gasped Sirius as they parted, still trying to catch his breath.

"Of course it's you, it's always been you." said Remus with that perfect smile that was just for him.

And as they kissed again, and again, and once more after that Sirius felt the weigh of Remus' heart over his own chest and swore to keep it safe for him, until he needed it back.

The End

**Awwww, I'm feeling sappy hehe. Please review if you liked, or if you didn't, doesn't matter it's all helpful.**

**Oh and, if anyone's reading opposites attract, I haven't abandon it!! I'm just unsure about the next chapter but it will be posted soon.**

**Alex**


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